June 14th 2012
Let's call it the summer of weddings.
Glorious weddings. Watching people wed is a Goonies
delicacy. Yes, we eat them after they marry. We're
sortof like Praying Mantis' but we don't pray at all.
In a tragic course of events, our drummer spontaneously
combusted in the middle of a show this spring.
We always noticed his clothes were overly static and
sometimes his drum stick would blow up in flames but
we didn’t think too much of it… until.. right in the
middle of the drum solo in Tom Sawyer, smoke engulfed
him and he imploded. There was no matter left. Just the
smell of burnt hair and wet fart. Of course, we were
devastated because he was the only one of us who knew
how to make a 100% vegan pizza that tasted like regular pizza, with fake meat on it and everything. And even though none of us are vegan it was like watching a magic trick when you’re 5 and we knew we would miss that.. Then, it hit us that we also needed to find a new drummer… Not cool!
February 22nd 2012
Been a raging winter with tons of shows, not enough snow and plenty of beer. Highlights being Anti-Valentines Day at Conor Oneills - we love that GD place, and a new appearance at Spill Lounge in Denver for a kickass benefit party. Made our way to Vail and raged at the Sandbar a couple of times with everything rocking except for the number of people... We have to say the ragers that were there made up for all the losers that weren't. Honey Badger don't give a shit! We still managed to party harder than everyone and 75% of the Goonies shared a bed at the end of the night. Yep, a Goonies sandwich with flourescent orange cheetos and 7-11 pizza... Equally as nasty the way in as the way out. Well, peace bitches! We'll see you at Stahan's Whiskey
the day before St Patty's Day!
December 16th 2011
Well, The Goonies have been keeping busy. The holiday season brings a lot of company
christmas parties and as long as the attendees are a little liquored up theres no telling what
they will do in front of their coworkers with a Goonies performance. We are masters of
breaking ice and dance floors. We played at Oskar Blues in Shlongmont a few nights ago
and that place is awesome. Great sound system and guy and of course delicious beer.
They've got blues night on mondays upstairs which the Goonies will most certainly check out.
Well, remember to Go Fuck Yourself this holiday season! You deserve it!
Merry f*ing Christmas!
September 24th 2011
BOBCAT PTA FUNDRAISER
With the Crawford Hill Mansion to our backs, and an olympic size swimming pool filled with
balloons to our front, we raged to an incredible group of rockers who lived the 80s. They
know their 80s attire better than we even do (understandably seeing as we left the 80s
early and plunged into the 21st century) We had women in their original prom
dresses - pink, blue, green sequins - some of the dresses looked like flourescent frosted cakes.
And funds they raised! Midway through the night, before everyone was properly liquored up, they were half-way to their goal of $40,000. And with shots leading the way to the donation table, I am certain they reached it. The Goonies now feel confident in helping raise more than just skirts and shirts.
September 7th 2011
We have a very busy couple of months coming up. After having been kidnapped by a Sasquatch - the same one that kidnapped the Beastie Boys a few years back - we have been bombarded with requests to appear on numerous shows and to make appearances at several events. The most recent being "How to Avoid Being Kidnapped by a Sasquatch," to which we keep reiterating, "Don't Rock so Hard." Many don't know this but Sasquatchs are huge suckers for sick musicians. If you sense there is a Sasquatch in the area and your are playing live music, switch it up and start playing a Justin Beiber song, or mimic Miley Cyrus and you'll have no problems. He'll stop in his tracks, pound on his inner ear, and he'll go straight back to that nasty smelly cave he lives in and won't go out for awhile.
- The Goonies