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THE GOONIES NEVER SAY HANGOVER!

Based in Boulder, CO, this 4-piece rock band will rip your shirts and bras off with their shredding guitar solos and unravel your sense of space and time.  Founded in 1985, after escaping a kidnapping by a large sasquatch, the young rockstars decided to travel through time and come light up the 21st century.  While you may wake up with crimped hair, a sore neck, and no recollection of the last 12 hours, The Goonies never... ever.... say Hangover.

The Band

Axxxly

 

Ashley, is like a honey badger. Dangerous by day, but even more dangerous by night. This spastic cherry bomb is either robbing banks overseas or jumping her dirtbike over rows of flaming school busses. Once she bit the head off a rattlesnake to  feed the starving band. Her vocal teachers include Buddhist monks and Axl Rose.

Air Rick

 

Air Rick was born in 1885 and was frozen in the Alaskan Tundra for 100 years because he was deemed too radical for the present era. Since then, he has had an obsession with fire and all things loud. He fuels through a 1.21 gigawatt amp which has been used to melt the faces of his foes and blow the shirts off girls in the crowd. He lives with his dog, Eddie, and shreds the streets with Marty McFly.

Naterator


Nate is a portal to a world you've never seen.  If you maintain eye contact with him for more than a shake of a lamb's tail, you will lose consciousness.  He doesn't actually exist but behaves like a mirror.   You see in him your innermost awesome.  So keep looking but don't stare directly at him or you'll lose your eyesite.

Feridly

 

Ferid is a mythical creature born out of the love between a wolf and a mahagony tree. One tug on his gotee will not only cost you your life, but also release a title wave of sound that will burst the eardrums of any living creature in a 100 mile radius A few of his fans learned that the hard way. Though he may generally be seen smiling, even laughing, there is a beastly creature dwelling in the background that is best left ignored. You may sense its presence but don't ever look directly at it..​  Oh and he snores really loud.

1/2

Spontaneous

Combustion

 

Tragically, our first drummer Chris Oshman-ly spontaneously combusted during a drum solo.  All that remained was the smell of burnt hair and wet fart.